I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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