Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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