i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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