Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
