I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
two words: eviction party
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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