my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
