At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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