i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Found the puke drawer
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
