Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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