My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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