if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
