Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
