It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
