I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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