so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize