he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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