We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
