Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
North Korea, Best Korea!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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