You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
