I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize