I just pynch a tree in the face
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
