I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
