I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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