He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
