Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
