16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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