Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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