Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
