Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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