I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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