how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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