When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
