He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
