If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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