why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
