she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
