I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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