Don't you send me to vm
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
