Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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