C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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