Sry I called you an 8
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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