I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
