If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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