I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
