I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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