Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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