Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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