How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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