Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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