we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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