I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
