Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
