i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
