what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
