Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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