I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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