I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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