I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
