Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
