Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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