Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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