Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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