Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
